Madeleine McCann - what about parental responsibility?

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"Madeleine McCann - what about parental responsibility?":

1. This was one of the first things I thought and when I learned more about the details of the little girl’s disappearance, I was upset. What surprises me is how many people have posted comments about “We all do this, so let’s not judge” or “it’s not helpful to tell the parents that now”. To me, it’s just common sense, you don’t leave children alone in a strange room in a strange country. I have absolute sympathy for the parents and I pray that the child will be found safely. However this is a very brutal lesson that must be learned.

   Comment by Sandra Robertson — May 16, 2007 @ 7:03 pm

2. I certainly agree that it’s not useful to condemn the parents - I guess I just feel that the effort and energies being used to publicise her disappearance could also provide a more focused message to parents.

   And thanks for not lynching me. :)

   Comment by Brian Turner — May 16, 2007 @ 7:10 pm

3. FInally, somebody has spoken the TRUTH. Yes, loosing their child is horrible, but as far as I can see, the parents were seriously negligent…

   So why are they not being called on this?

   Comment by Senseboy — May 16, 2007 @ 10:03 pm

4. I have to agree with the above sentiments. Remember, she was not the only child they neglected that night, there were 2 others. This must be galling for those poor unfortunate couples who cannot conceive.

   Comment by Adam Hill — May 17, 2007 @ 11:34 pm

5. I completely agree. If anything is more terrifying than whatmay have happened to this poor little girl, it is precisely the number of people saying that they routinely leave their kids on their on when they are on holiday. Rather than saying “let’s not be judgemental” and “there but for the grace of god” etc, suche people should be waking up and hearing the alarm bells, thanking their lucky stars for how fortunate they have been up to now and resolving never ever to leave their children alone in holiday hotel rooms or apartments again in future. I feel for the McCanns and the dreadful price they are paying, but the fact remains it was patently stupid to do what they did.

   Comment by neil kelly — May 23, 2007 @ 2:27 pm

6. It’s actually amazing to find some people somewhere who are prepared to state that someone has to be held responsible for the children being left alone. Yes no-one is perfect, but children are precious and should not be left alone in a holiday apartment (however safe it may intially appear to be) - it’s not like leaving your camera while you go out for a meal. A camera or other personal belonging can be replaced. A child never can! I am also peturbed about the money being donated. I would be happy to see a fund/charity or whatever set up for “missing children” in general that could be used when any child was abducted or went missing for over say 12 hours or 24 hours. However, this fund is specific to this case and I rather fear that huge sums of this money will be eaten up by unnecessary legal bills. Why do lawyers need to fly to Portugal - is there no fax/phone or e-mail available in Portugal? It would be distressing to think that the money raised by genuinely concerned members of the public was paying for a business trip to Portugal for the lawyers. And now apparently the family plan to tour Europe - will this be on the back of the money raised by general public? The money should be restricted to use for advertising campaigns, posters or whatever to find Madeleine and not for anything else! If/when Madeleine is found any unspent funds should go to a charity fund where it can be used to find other missing children.

   Comment by JillA — May 24, 2007 @ 2:24 pm

7. I totally agree with the majority here, and whilst I am very sorry the girl is missing, and wish she would come back; I have to say that I can NOT understand whatsover, why so much fuss is being made over ONE CHILD. DOZENS of children go missing EVERY DAY, so WHY all this fuss? Myself, and everyone I know (immediate family and friends), feel the same… Parents of many other children who have been abducted, must be wondering why such an immense amount of fuss and media coverage is being made over this *one* child. Like I said; I am hoping that Madeline is returned safely, and I wouldn’t wish ‘losing your child’ on anyone, but why is this one case of child abduction being given so much media coverage?

   Everywhere you look, there is more media coverage; on the tv, on the radio, on the front of the newspapers; everywhere. What do they suggest people over here in the UK (and everywhere else), should do about this child they don’t know from Adam? Indeed, *why* do they think anyone should even be doing anything at all?! We are all being made to feel as if we should be *doing something* about this girl’s disappearance. Well “what” exactly should we be doing? And WHY should we do anything. I am also bemused by celebrities ‘jumping on the madeline bandwagon’, and think it’s quite pathetic actually.

   I don’t even know this child, OR her family; yet, all I have seen in my email inbox is ‘pass on this email as a prayer for madeline’, and ’send five pounds to this account for madeline’, and I’ve been asked to ‘pray for madeline’… Like I said; I don’t even know her. We even had someone coming to the door asking for money for the ‘madeline fund’, and last week we saw someone collecting in the street! I don’t mean to sound cold, but I just don’t ‘get’ why this one child has generated so much intense media coverage. I haven’t seen any news subject covered more, since 9/11! And as someone has pointed out: WHERE is all this money going? And now the McCann’s are on a European tour and meeting the pope! For God’s sake!

   And this has to be said, although I am sure I’m only saying what 100s of 1000s of others are thinking; Would the same kind of press have been given if Madeline had come from a single unemployed mother, on a rough council estate, or if she had been black? I seriously doubt it. She would have been labelled a bad mother and would have been slaughtered by the media. The only thing that amazes me about all of this, is that her parents haven’t yet been arrested for neglect. Leaving three children alone in a hotel room while you slope off to a tapas bar with your friends, is utterly unncacceptable. How about some media coverage which questions their parenting, and asks how much madeline’s abduction is a direct result of her parents stupidity, carelessness and neglect.

   And am I the only one who is sick of seeing the parents now? There are OTHER parents who have lost children! And also, am I the only one who thinks the McCann’s seem unusually comfortable in the media spotlight? I would have been a very deep pit of depression by now. They seem very odd to me.

   Comment by alisontheblonde — May 28, 2007 @ 5:41 am

8. Great article

   I think its sickening the amount of money being devoted to a single child search caused by atrocious parenting, which nobody seems to want to call into question.

   The amount of genuine snatches from beaches, shopping malls etc going unspoken about is the real shame.

   Comment by chris — May 29, 2007 @ 5:54 am

9. While I agree with the comments re parental responsibility..please stop the ridiculous remarks about children being snatched everyday - this is simply not true. Cases of abduction are actually extremely rare. Ask the police , ask the charity Missing if you dont believe me. Children of 4 are not being snatched from beaches and shopping malls on a regular basis. Remarks like this simply fuel a state of fear. Children do go missing but they are usually older (over 14) and runaways. We should of course be hugely concerned about them - but their cases are an entirely different issue to the one here.

   Comment by Elizabeth South — June 5, 2007 @ 8:10 pm

10. My sympathy and concern are for Madeleine. The fear that little girl must have felt at her abduction in the hands of strangers and whatever treatment (perish the thought) at what she may be receiving right now. I have always found that there is a huge divide between intelligence and common sense, the mccanns seems to have an abundance of the first and none of the latter. They were in their mid 30s when their children came along came along and they will have previously had many years of freedom, selfishness and socialising. Mr and Mrs Mccann, its at this time that you put yourselves second in everything else as your childrens safety and happiness must now come first for the foreable years ahead and they did not practise this. Was that last meal really worth it? You may never enjoy another meal or know a goods night sleep again. Why could you not settle for the fact you were off the treadmill of work, with your children in a sunny holiday climate? For most people this would have been paradise…without the tapas and socialising. Praying Maddie is being treat kindly, wherever she is.

    Comment by norah — June 19, 2007 @ 10:36 am

11. The parents made a mistake but are paying with the the rest of their lives, their peace of mind and their family’s privacy. How much would they give to rewind time?
    As with the millions of others I wish Mdeleine safe with every fibre of my being.

    Comment by Corrie — June 27, 2007 @ 10:41 pm

12. With all the millions of people around the world I wish with every fibre of my being that that the child is safe.
    If only we could rewind time and make the parents behave differently..

    Comment by Corrie — June 27, 2007 @ 10:43 pm

13. Maybe include info on hotel doors, or posters in restrooms, theatres, eating places, fairs, etc. not to leave children unattended because children go missing. You would think people know but maybe some don’t worry as much as others and need to be reminded.

    Comment by Pat — July 20, 2007 @ 7:34 am

14. I feel that the parents especially such educated and 38 year old people, should be held accountable for their negligence. It is never ok to leave young kids alone supervised sleeping or otherwise is totally unacceptable. And such negligence coming from educated medical professionals in totally unacceptable. Hope the little girl will be safe.

    Comment by sree — August 13, 2007 @ 1:31 am

15. I’m glad I found somewhere where people are actually speaking their mind about this case. I see everybody speaking sense, unlike what the medias are feeding us.

    One thing I was also very sensitive to was how good looking the mccanns are, how successful their life, and how well adjusted they seem to all the media coverage.

    They almost look like models on a fashion show.

    What kind of society is this? What does it matter if everyone can vote — for what it’s worth —- but not everyone can be helped to find their children but only the wealthy people. Civilised, are we?

    Sorry guys, all of you have found one positive lesson at least in all this, I just feel I cannot find anything at all.

    Comment by Margherita — August 22, 2007 @ 12:46 pm

16. I have to say, Wow, It’s about time someone said this. I completely agree and would go further and say they got what they deserved for such a negligant piece of parenting.

    And with the recent revelation that the mother has been held as an official suspect, I think that we may be beginning to see the very real possibility that all doesn’t quite add up here.

    It really wouldn’t surprise me if they were found guilty of her murder and this was all an elaborate story to cover it up. I mean, think about it, any parent with half a brain wouldn’t leave their 3 year old daughter alone with their other baby siblings whilst they swanned off and had a good time. It goes against every instinct in your body, it just feels WRONG.

    It’s not a popular stance, but I personally wish the TRUTH would be outed as soon as possible.

    Comment by Rimmerworld — September 7, 2007 @ 4:52 pm

17. I don’t think anyone “deserves” to suffer the loss of child under any circumstances.

    However, there are two particular issues I think are additionally sad with regards to how the McCann’s have handled this.

    Firstly, I’m sure any parent would want to do everything they could to help find their child, but the whole case has been turned into a complete media circus by the parents themselves, and yet they don’t appear to have appreciated that generating a huge amount of publicity would lead to a closer examination of themselves.

    Secondly, the McCann’s have been constantly critical of the Portuguese police from the start. I think it’s quite disingenuous to belittle the very organisation that has the responsibility of trying to help find a missing child. Raise concerns in private, sure. But continued public denouements, through frustration or not, I can’t see helping their case.

    2c.

    Comment by Brian Turner — September 9, 2007 @ 10:00 am

18. I have not put anything on a forum until today. I have never believed the McCann’s from the outset and to be honest I’m sure over half of the country hasn’t either. They are making fools out of the people of the world and no doubt this will be proven in the near future. Why are these people getting away with this - yes it does comes down to ‘class’ and yes it does comes down to ‘looking the part’. No Mr and Mrs McCann this is one person who categorically does not believe a word either of you are saying and I’m sure I’m not on my own in thinking this. Why have the McCanns been allowed to keep their other two children - these children are at risk and should be taken away from them, as no doubt would have happened if this had been a low income family from a deprived area. I cannot believe the downright cheek of these people - ‘oh -what money can buy’!!

    Comment by Delia Hodgkiss — September 15, 2007 @ 11:22 pm

19. One baffling element of the story is the colossal support the couple received, from an audience with the Pope downwards. Any other couple would be unlikely to have a government official seconded to them help handle the media, to take just one example. Now we hear Richard Branson is to contribute to their legal expenses.
    There’s an untold story here, a hidden agenda or some such. Is Gerry McCann the top-ranking Freemason in the world, or just the United Kingdom?

    Comment by Boatstuff — September 16, 2007 @ 7:39 pm

20. Yes, we all know the parents made a mistake, none know better than they and they must live with the consequences for the remainder of their lives. However, the reason their child is still the lead story in most newspapers and TV News is down to the extremely well orchestrated and slick campaign they are running, funded by generous public donations. Yes, their intelligence has given them an advantage over a less well educated couple, their friends are of similar intellect and together they have put together a sustained effort to keep the missing child in the forefront of the news. GOOD FOR THEM!! I too would employ every advantage I had if I were in a similar position. Don’t knock them for using their inherent skills. The innuendo and rumor must be excruitiating for them but they are now trying to get the focus back on finding their missing daughter and who can blame them. Let’s hope they are successful in their efforts, are reunited with their daughter (or at least have some closure) and clear their previously good names.

    Comment by austin1 — September 17, 2007 @ 9:43 am

21. I have to agree with Brian Turners comments (September 9th). I feel that there is an undercurrent going on here, I can’t put my finger on it, or even hazzard a guess at what has really happened here. The press have created a massive smoke screen by jumping on this bandwagon and creating a circus, my personal opinion is that many people who have also jumped on this bandwagon are going to end up with egg on their faces. I am also disgusted that the McCanns have not been brought to book for leaving their 3 children alone, a paedophile or child killer is not going to stalk the 18-30 resorts, they will be where the children are! if indeed this is what happened - I have my doubts. The McCanns had everything to do with the disappearance of their daughter because they were negligent - it’s as simple as that!

    Comment by lisa — September 18, 2007 @ 12:53 pm

22. i feel sorry for them all, especialy maddie. Its hard to say who took her, i dont think it was the parents. They have no proof to say it was them, anyway they said the car DNA was 100% maddies, a weeks later they said it was the twins, that just says that maybe people are blaming innocent parents for killing thier child!

    Comment by louise — September 23, 2007 @ 10:07 pm

23. of course it’s terrible tragedy, especially for the poor wee missing child. But none of the consequential events would have occurred had not the parents left THREE babies unprotected whilst they dined. Many parents, mainly from the ‘estates’ have been hauled up by social services in similar circumstances and charged with neglect. The rest of he media hype is academic. The parents must live with their consciences and admit they put their children at risk!

    Comment by ikarus — September 24, 2007 @ 7:44 pm

24. Kudos to you all for your comments. Something just does not add up here. Parents of obvious means had no reason to leave three young children un-chaperoned. There’s a saying in America, if it looks fishy, and smells fishy, it probably is fishy.

    Comment by US Observer — September 28, 2007 @ 6:03 pm

25. No, Gerry McCann is not a Freemason. Yes, a Catholic man can become a Freemason, a belief in “deity” is required for entrance. One wonders why the McCanns are called “devout Catholics” when they used IVF to conceive their children (IVF is a sin in the Catholic church, very strongly condemned) and when they are consulting with “psychics”, a belief also strongly condemned by the Catholic church.

    Comment by Norman Boliferous — October 4, 2007 @ 12:36 am

26. Gerry McCann should clearly state with each new post on the website: “Protect your young children. Never leave them alone”.

    The flyers, billboards, etc. should state the same, in addition to the picture of their child.

    The Mark Warner Resort should post signs which indicate “GUESTS MAY NOT LEAVE YOUNG CHILDREN ALONE AT ANY TIME”.

    Comment by Arial — October 6, 2007 @ 10:31 pm

27. Contrary to what Kate McCann stated, she DID know her children might not be “safe” left alone, else she and the others wouldn’t have bothered “checking” on them.
    The McCanns should be asking the media to inform people that “checking” on children every half can’t keep a child safe from harm that occurs in the interim.
    They should be clearly stating that their daughter is MISSING BECAUSE THEY LEFT HER ALONE, UNSUPERVISED.
    The McCanns chose to not ensure their childrens’ safety when they left them alone in their apartment at the Mark Warner resort.

    Comment by Arial — October 6, 2007 @ 10:49 pm

28. Interesting how they have publically berated the Portugese police for not finding their missing daughter, yet, they refuse to publically denounce their own negligence which resulted in the child becoming a missing person, in the first place!
    Again, the McCanns need to advocate on print and during media interviews that parents never leave young children alone.

    Comment by Arial — October 6, 2007 @ 10:55 pm

29. I have not heard the McCanns’, in a single video interview, or in any printed publication, state that parents can prevent the “abduction” of young children by never leaving them alone!
    Gerry & Kate McCann have had many media interviews, many opportunities to spread a message that the best way to prevent young children from being abducted is to never leave them alone.
    The flyers which contain a picture of Madeleine in addition to phone contact numbers should also include a warning to NEVER LEAVE YOUNG CHILDREN ALONE.

    Comment by Arial — October 6, 2007 @ 11:02 pm

30. Brian, regarding “could not sleep children under the age of 8 unsupervised in a hotel room” at the Highlands. I wonder whether Mark Warner Resorts have the same policy.

    Comment by Arial — October 6, 2007 @ 11:05 pm

31. Myself and my husband would never, ever leave our young daughter by herself. the thought of not being able to see her and know exactly where she is feels me with dread!! i cannot understand how a parent would feel comfortable sitting around a table eating and drinking ASSUMING their children were ok!! Once again it is proved there are too many weirdos around, but i would have thought everyone was aware of this by now! i prey Maddie is found!! Please GOd!!!

    Comment by Jessica — October 23, 2007 @ 9:05 am

32. The whole business seems to hold a hallmark of a Close Brotherhood with secrets.

    There are Catholics who are also Masons.

    Blue Lodge (up to and including the 3rd degree) a version of the Masonic Oath can be read on numerous web sights - Duncans Masonic ritual, and Ephesians 5-11 to name a couple. Further information can be had in books on the subject.

    The higher up a Mason has moved in various chapters the more obligated they become obviously. I have read someone’s comment that the law is the same for all, that is of course not the case at all, it is not about what happens in the courtroom as much as what happens before it gets there of course.

    Comment by robe3rt jones — November 8, 2007 @ 8:49 am

33. I think this has gone too far. Personally i think that the parents had something to do with it and as soon as the truth comes out the better.

    Comment by Meema — November 28, 2007 @ 2:05 pm

34. I can’t imagne what the parents must be feeling right now. Their pain must be excruitiating. And for that scared, lost little girl if shes still alive i want to cry for every time i think about it. I have a 4 year old and the thought of losing her is just too much to think about. But the fact still remains she went missing because her parents failed to keep her safe. They neglected her, abondoned you might say…and for what, so they could go out to dinner. They should be held responsible for that in some way. Someone said in an earlier post, that you hear of parents from council estates (and i would argue all walks of life) having their children taken away and being prosecuted for neglect, well why not the McCanns? This story couldve been a whole lot worse….this could be about 3 missing children. Shame on them. Ill be praying for her safe return still though.

    Comment by Emma White — March 11, 2008 @ 10:21 pm

35. I’m amazed that these people have the gall to go trotting round the world preaching on child alert systems. Yes you need international procedures if a child goes missing, but did they ever hear the one about ’shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted’? How about looking after your kids in the first place! Honestly, I take better care of my dog.

    Comment by Chrissy — May 17, 2008 @ 5:55 pm

36. I thought i was the only one think this, i’m glad i’m not alone. Everytime i hear something about the McCanns on the news. I can’t help but think, its all their fault, for leaving their small child alone. What were they thinking.
    Whilst i want Madeleine to be found safe. Her parents should never have left her alone! And i think that they are to blame and therefore should take some of the flack for it.

    Comment by Sarah — July 7, 2008 @ 12:01 pm

37. lets stop slagging mr and mrs mc cann.i have lots of friends that have admitted to me that they have locked their children in the hotels beedrooms as they popped to the bar for a drink

    Comment by mmcdermott — May 3, 2009 @ 9:54 pm

38. I pray everynight that Madeleine is returned to your family safe and well, I’m a parent and can’t imagine what you are going through, I haven’t been happy since your poor girl went missing, I am on tabs and I do pray for you and think of her everyday I just want her home with you I do, ALL MY LOVE Helz xxx I feel you will get her back eventually.I pray for you and her.

    Comment by Hellz — May 12, 2009 @ 12:41 am

39. I agree that the McCanns should be publicizing the need to never leave young children alone.

    And mmcdermott, the McCann children were not “locked in” — the doors were unlocked.

    Comment by Strawberry — May 21, 2009 @ 3:24 am